thank you philippines!!!

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for the national book award for poetry for the philippine edition of the gods we worship live next door! i'm deeply honored and humbled!



my running thoughts:

the american edition of gods we worship live next door was released in 2006. i negotiated to have "the philippines" be removed from my u.s. contract so that i could publish a philippine edition that could be more affordable to filipino readers. u.s. books are very expensive there. the umbrella country does not have a philippine edition, although it is taught in many universities in the philippines. to get a personal copy there is quite a sacrifice for many. thus, the endless borrowing and photocopying of pages. i don't understand why filipinos shouldn't have access to books written by their own people abroad. having learned from that experience, i made sure that an edition of my poetry collection be released in the philippines as well. http://www.anvilpublishing.com/bookdetails.php?id=2008000021

with this award, i do hope that the gods we worship live next door reaches a wider audience in the philippines, where i thought it would mean more (partly because of its socio-political leaning). publishing a non-american book in the u.s. is a challenge for many of us with international origins. we try to bring light to the stories of our people, of our birth countries, so that the more insular world of america would understand a little more about the global villages that are so much a part of their rhetoric but can't leave the parameters of myths, wars, and symbols. there are real people in the philippines; most of us touched by american imperialism. i write in english for this reason. my father fought for this country during world war II. and i am on american soil because of this common history and for the love of "american" democracy. the smallest stories of the other can teach us so much about ourselves.

and oh, the trophy! i thought this sculpture was especially moving. i immediately see the metaphors of roots, uprooting, branches and branching out, the eventual return to soils of origin, and the life learned from such movements.


links:

http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=523362&publicationSubCategoryId=90

http://nbdb.gov.ph/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=753&Itemid=1

congrats to all the other winners and finalists:

http://criticplaywright.blogspot.com/2009/11/28th-national-book-awards.html

the pacman effect:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jose-antonio-vargas/online-hit----manny-phili_b_357832.html
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fire in the soul: 100 poems for human rights

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when home and settled, will revamp this blog. meanwhile, i'd like to promote a new anthology supporting amnesty international's human rights work. i'm really honored to be included in it. it's one of those books that is truly worth your money.




amazon. click here.

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thank you for my favorite song, michael.

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end of the year sadness and joy

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i always have problem with separation, albeit ephemeral. the year at harvey island ends. i can't quite put to words what i'm thinking right now, but here is your own access to my world for the past many many months of pure intellectual bliss.

http://elserenito.shutterfly.com/

thanks for visiting. see you soon! don't forget someone here is thinking of you, and how you will change the world for the better.

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transition and big binders

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dear universe,

the other day, i bought five 3-inch binders at staples to organize myself for one last time. it also means printing out dozens of pdfs that i have quite frankly struggled to read for a whole year. can't wait to fill these binders with materials that will prove to be exceptionally useful for many years to come. i have a lot of work to do in the next few months. i'm really excited about my new organization--can't believe that i actually have a business plan for it. rewind one year--it was simply an idea i had in my mind after a few weeks of ah moments in my welfare-2-work classroom. next thing i knew i decided to make a huge life shift and moved to another state.

so fast. i haven't stopped telling people that i truly found home at the kennedy school of government--this wondrous place where the word "change" is all over; and i leave dear old harvey knowing that it's been a pleasure and honor to study at kennedy. in those u-shaped classrooms, the level of engagement from students was phenomenal, the diversity of backgrounds and opinion was a charm to behold, and the professors are teachers first, group dynamics experts of the nth degree. sweetly, never a dull moment at kennedy. on the other hand, i'm still trying to process the ed. school. a place of ironies, a friend told me recently. but for me, a place of many contradictions. where change should begin at the doorstep, not in one's mindmaps. but one can only learn from such levels of complexity. indeed in a world of educators, where problems are bigger than the answers, and so much is at stake, it is not surprising that so many are muted by the overwhelming lack of solutions.

speaking of solutions, i have reserved a heroic space to these graduate students who competed at the education enterprise idea competition. since i have not asked their permission, i won't mention who they are. but here is the picture of the cheerful winners (i happily placed third). in the absence of their identities, i hope they know that i join them with great honor and pride.




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winding down at harvey

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in about a couple of months, this blog would go through changes, as i depart from harvey island. what does it mean being post post? perhaps it means i will have more time to spend blogging. i actually enjoyed blogging every day way back when, and i slipped this year for reasons you may already know.

but here's where life will be in early june. will you be there, sweet one?

http://www.commencement.harvard.edu/


in the next few days, i will blog about lessons learned during my voyage here. apologies for not blogging as often, but this mid career student had to relearn academic discipline.

i've been tryin to get down to the heart of the matter.


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the path of true love is never straight

(for miss sommar and confucius, whose guidance late last year led me to my fall venture into the fields of YADDO)
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or the path of true anything is never straight.

the above quote is a migration from facebook. as i leave a rather quick spring break in jersey city and return to harvey, i am contemplating on the future paths i'm taking, and in retrospect, ones i have already done. while i believe in the basic premise of sticking to the plan, i have lived many long years enough to understand there is no such a thing as a plan--that the winding roads of life are at the heart of life's definition and constitution.

harvey was a decision that took forever to happen. graduate school was unaffordable for me. i was one of those who dedicated their life to community work that barely met the need$ of a cosmopolitan life. when i had an AH moment in my welfare-to-work classroom a year ago, i crossed and saw that path again, the one in the winding roads of life, a full stop: imagine a a deja-vu, an artifact you knew you had seen before, a taste in the tongue, a moment of intrinsic familiarity, a spark of memory, but all which can't be placed. my AH moment was a sign. and i listened. it was quick: research, closing the windows and the doors to focus, immediately writing referees, writing arduous yet inspired essays, turning GRE into chocolate mousse to cherish not spite--all a matter of three months, a protracted adrenaline spurt. and now, it was a year later. the biggest learning curve in my life.

in a recession, there are many moments that present themselves to people in unrecognizable shape and form, often signs disguised as pain. suffering will be the least for us to see as a reason to take action, make a leap for change, or cross that winding road. but in fact, it is such a sign. indeed, in life the only consistent thing is death. before then, incongruity and signs by the many roads we cross.

from here to eternity, i make little plans. little moments. i plan a year of writing books and founding organizations. i follow the winding path of true love and true nature and true gods. i bear witness to the revelations that excite and pain. i live life that way it should be. by moments.

(and more often than not, you probably already met your true love)

and that just recalls another song.


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on organizations

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when i decided to leave the non-profit world, it was with great frustration over organizational systems. i finally accepted there was nothing i could do to change anything from within, that intrapreneurship was a useless endeavor. in restrospect, i think i have come to this conclusion primarily because i have seen how people who work for non-profits eventually diverge from their mission, and choose to protect self-interest instead of constituency, securing funding for self-preservation over loyalty to the mission.

i came to harvey to found an organization. i had a clear understanding of what it was, how it looked like, and how it was going to function. what was missing was strategic management skills--i thought i had enough experience to understand what didn't work, but realized didn't have the skills to pursue what would. i was banking a lot on a harvey education to fill the gaps. what i am learning is that i don't necessarily have gaps in skills, but that i am now better able to discern good knowledge from bad, and reinforce the good with solid strategy. that the scaffolding process of such knowledge requires a new language all together. speaking such language in a meaningful way is in itself expertise.

i'm glad i went to graduate school after many, many years of practice. what i have come to witness in organizations and communities will never be taught in any ivory tower. similarly, what i am learning here at harvey is its own exclusive territory.

when i first came to harvey for an orientation, i was introduced to the nexus of practice and theory, and how they shouldn't be separated. at the kennedy school, i am being exposed to organizational strategies from the same types of people i have worked with for years. the big difference is the willingness to openly introspect--a public thinking out loud of sorts. for all those years i worked, there was never an opportunity to reflect upon successes and failures. we just did what we were told to do. it was painful to watch organizational failure. even at the end, when all things failed, we didn't bother to ask why.

the case studies in my classes are based on experiences of people who are willing to be scrutinized closely. sometimes they come as guests. and they stand in front of harvey students and get criticized and admired in the same hour. this will never happen in a workplace. and it should. there's much to gain from simple questions: why do you work here? do you believe in our mission? for whom do you work? who do you serve? so many things that happen in the quotidian operations of an organization, to the smallest things, determines its state of health.

and truly, for the first time in my life, i see things differently--funny, things are not as complicated as they always seemed. the world of work has simplified itself. it is with this world of "simplicity in design" that i will move into founding an organization when i finish school. i'm developing expertise. i'm also becoming braver, and finding bravery in transparency. i'm beginning to understand more what leadership means.

the word of the day is growth.
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courage in a "nation of cowards"

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how does one define "courage" in a world of silenced people? why would one risk stature to get the silenced world to speak again?

eric holder's decision to critique our conscience is the biggest risk a man of his position can ever take. was it worth it? are people listening? is there a new dialogue on race?

his statements may not sound acceptable to many of us who feel that the discourse on racial issues is best relegated to segregated dining rooms. perhaps it's time for the partition to slide back and open a space for a larger dialogue. having a black president does not forgive anything. while obama is a positive gesture of history; he is, by no means, the answer to its faults. he may have opened doors, but does he blast walls of silence?

with that, i post a picture of this man who i truly admire for taking such risks, so early, so soon. he may pay a steep price for his words. but in the eyes of many of us, who understand the deepest meaning, he is a man of mettle.

with admiration. true courage is so rare. so rare.
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the precipice

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listening to noam chomsky lecture last night on the palestinian-israeli conflict made me think deeply about the crossroads to change. here at harvard, there is much public music on the pronoun, "I." there seems to be too much self-valedictory going on. for the first time, i heard from someone--in chomsky--the use the pronoun, "We," when he posed the question: who are the oppressors in the conflict over gaza and the west bank? we, us. the united states, he answered. it was refreshing to hear the we-incrimination. a moment to really ask ourselves if we know how, a world so far away, is affected by many private and public decisions we make in this country.

and where do the roads we cross for change begin? does it begin with the "I" or the "We?" i thought of this song that was in my head when i woke up this morning. i won't tell you why i think this song is related to my post above. however, i would invite you to think with me about the I, the We, the world, and this song.



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signs of change

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making greedy wall streeters accountable to the public is obviously a wind of change in american politics. wall street firms giving millions of bonuses to their employees from borrowed government money is beyond imaginable tact. how hard is it for these people to understand that their money is not theirs, that borrowing money from people's taxes comes with corporate social responsibility?

The restriction with the most bite would bar top executives from receiving bonuses exceeding one-third of their annual pay. Any bonus would have to be in the form of long-term incentives, like restricted stock, which could not be cashed out until the TARP money was repaid in full. more here Stimulus Plan Places New Limits on Wall St. Bonuses

a good friend reminded me recently of the fear that travels through america these days: are we on a short road to becoming a third country? having come from one, i know it is an unfounded fear, engendered by high rates of unemployment and a yet to be proven government. but it is also one of those times when citizens of the world can reflect upon their behaviours and ask, what really is more important? it is only during these times of crisis that the world comes to a halt to reconsider its options, based on historical faults. what we do in the first world has repercussions all over the globe. we see that now:

High unemployment rates, especially among young workers, have led to protests in countries as varied as Latvia, Chile, Greece, Bulgaria and Iceland and contributed to strikes in Britain and France. more here: Rise in Jobless Poses Threat to Stability Worldwide

we wait for a turnaround in conscience and behavior. a moment to understand that one simply can't take all without giving back. if you work on wall street and surround yourself with money, what is it really that you are contributing to make the world better? ask. seriously.

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be bold.


www.sundaysalon.com


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self promotion break

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as if i've been posting so much i would need a break. (sorry). but here's a self-promotion moment. find my interview in this new issue of salonzine. some thoughts on changing literary readership, obama, and my father!

http://www.sundaysalon.com/zine



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change . . . finally

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happy new year!

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thanks for keeping up with this website. i'm currently in a meaningful journey through a handful of required papers at harvey. so grateful that i love to write; it makes the process easy and less tedious.

wishing you all a year of welcoming change. am so very grateful for this new year. change is good and healthy. the past simply holds one back. toxicity is not a good company to keep. if we decide to stick to our old habits and to people who keep us from making new friends and acquaintances ,because they take to much of our precious time, then the consequences of such a horrid choice is for us to face. always remember there are millions of people in the world--and here you are wasting life with the same toxic person(s). change is good.

that said, i'm always on facebook. :-) and i'm finding fb easier to send messages than blogging. bitesize messaging is becoming the way to go these days. i'm all for digital wordsmiths.

will blog more soon about social change, social justice, and social networking. hm.

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during these difficult times, please do something kind anonymously every day.


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(yet tangentially, for you, my avid reader from aol, here is music from your life. )




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merry christmas sparkling

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been posting xmas songs on my facebook, why not here. sparklings.


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